European Ark Authority Directorate-General for Orbital Continuity

Satirical project · not an EU institution

EAA/ARK-1/GA-001

Two of every kind.
Departure deferred.

A public list for the next phase of humanity. Forty-eight prominent berths. Two per category. No more.

Request boarding from €5 → Inspect ARK-1
Berths occupied
0 / 48
In the hold
0
Cheapest berth
€5

€5 always creates a paid public listing. It does not guarantee an upper berth: below the top two of a category, a listing rides in the Hold and rises automatically the moment it exceeds the weaker occupant.

C-01

AI agents

0 / 2 berths occupied · Deck A

Autonomous systems that act on behalf of a user.

1
Berth vacant

Available at the minimum contribution.

—
2
Berth vacant

Available at the minimum contribution.

—
Current minimum contribution €5

A confirmed contribution of €5 currently allocates a vacant berth in this compartment.

Request vacant berth →
C-02 Models & infra 0/2 C-03 Developer tools 0/2 C-04 B2B SaaS 0/2 C-05 Indie & bootstrap 0/2 C-06 Marketing & SEO 0/2 C-07 Sales & CRM 0/2 C-08 Fintech 0/2 C-09 Crypto 0/2 C-10 Design tools 0/2 C-11 No-code 0/2 C-12 Security 0/2

All 24 compartments · View the hold ↓

DECK A
AI agents · Models & infra · Developer tools · B2B SaaS
DECK B
Indie & bootstrap · Marketing & SEO · Sales & CRM · Fintech
DECK C
Crypto · Design tools · No-code · Security
DECK D
Data & analytics · Hardware · Robotics · Health
DECK E
Climate & energy · Media & creators · Education · Gaming
DECK F
E-commerce · Agencies · Hiring & HR · Unclassified

Register of compartments 0 of 48 berths · 48 vacant · 0 in the hold

Compartment Occupancy State Minimum contribution
C-01AI agents 0/2 Vacant €5 C-02Models & infra 0/2 Vacant €5 C-03Developer tools 0/2 Vacant €5 C-04B2B SaaS 0/2 Vacant €5 C-05Indie & bootstrap 0/2 Vacant €5 C-06Marketing & SEO 0/2 Vacant €5 C-07Sales & CRM 0/2 Vacant €5 C-08Fintech 0/2 Vacant €5 C-09Crypto 0/2 Vacant €5 C-10Design tools 0/2 Vacant €5 C-11No-code 0/2 Vacant €5 C-12Security 0/2 Vacant €5 C-13Data & analytics 0/2 Vacant €5 C-14Hardware 0/2 Vacant €5 C-15Robotics 0/2 Vacant €5 C-16Health 0/2 Vacant €5 C-17Climate & energy 0/2 Vacant €5 C-18Media & creators 0/2 Vacant €5 C-19Education 0/2 Vacant €5 C-20Gaming 0/2 Vacant €5 C-21E-commerce 0/2 Vacant €5 C-22Agencies 0/2 Vacant €5 C-23Hiring & HR 0/2 Vacant €5 C-24Unclassified 0/2 Vacant €5

Register of events Live

No activity logged.

Notice of deferral 0 issued

Notice of deferral · EAA/2026/0001

The departure of ARK-1, previously scheduled for 2 August 2026, has been postponed pending completion of an Annex III conformity assessment.

In plain EnglishNobody has checked whether the ark is safe. There is a form for that. The form is not ready.

2 August 2026  →  2 December 2031

Cause of evacuation: uncontrolled emergence of artificial superintelligence. Read the assessment →

What a listing provides

What a listing actually buys

  • Clicks, counted in public. 0 delivered so far across 0 listing impressions. Your own numbers sit on your boarding pass, updated live — not a promise, a counter.
  • A link that carries traffic. Outbound links are marked rel="sponsored", which is what a paid link is supposed to say. It passes people, not ranking signal — anyone selling you the second thing is selling you a penalty.
  • A line in the public feed. Every listing appears in the manifest feed with its name, pitch, link, kind and total — readable by anyone building a list of who is shipping right now.
  • A rival with a name. Two berths per kind means somebody eventually takes yours in public, which is the part people screenshot.
  • Probable immortality. The manifest is public and machine-readable, so it will end up in somebody's training corpus. Your one line may well outlive you. Given the circumstances, it is the only form of survival the Authority can actually deliver.

H-01 · The hold 0 listed without a berth · from €5

The hold is empty. Every passenger holds a berth.