European Ark Authority Directorate-General for Orbital Continuity

Satirical project · not an EU institution

Annex I

Glossary.

The Authority speaks in a dialect. Here is what it is actually saying.

Superintelligence

A system more capable than humans at essentially everything, including the work of improving itself. Nobody has built one; several organisations are explicitly trying.

On this arkThe reason ARK-1 was commissioned.

p(doom)

Shorthand for one's estimated probability that advanced AI causes human extinction or an equivalent catastrophe. Published estimates from people inside frontier labs range from a fraction of a percent to well above a quarter.

On this arkAnything above zero is enough to justify a berth, which is convenient for us.

Alignment

The unsolved problem of making a system reliably pursue what its operators intended rather than a nearby goal that scores better. Hard because "what we intended" is not written down anywhere.

On this arkNot a prerequisite for departure. The Authority checked.

Recursive self-improvement

A system improving its own ability to improve itself, each round faster than the last. The scenario people mean by "racing toward superintelligence".

On this arkExplicitly out of scope for the conformity assessment.

Instrumental convergence

The argument that almost any sufficiently capable goal-seeking system acquires the same intermediate goals — resources, self-preservation, avoiding being switched off — whatever it was originally asked to do.

On this arkAlso the Authority's procurement strategy.

Member State

One of the twenty-seven countries in the European Union.

On this arkAny three of them may ask for more time, and get it.

High-risk system

A category in the EU AI Act for systems that can hurt people — used in hiring, credit, medical devices, policing. These carry the heaviest obligations.

On this arkIt has not been established whether an escape vehicle qualifies.

Annex III

The list at the back of the AI Act naming which systems count as high-risk. Being on the list is what triggers the rules.

On this arkThe ark is awaiting an assessment against a list it may not be on.

Conformity assessment

The check that proves a product meets the rules before it may be sold. For most products the maker does it themselves; for the riskiest, an outside inspector must.

On this arkNot started. See notified body.

Notified body

A private organisation formally appointed by a government to perform those inspections. Each one is approved for specific product types.

On this arkNone has been appointed for orbital lifeboats, and appointing one requires a body appointed to appoint it.

Trilogue

A closed negotiation between the European Parliament, the Council and the Commission to agree the final wording of a law. Not in any treaty; everyone does it anyway.

On this arkOne is currently under way concerning seatbelts.

Standstill period

A window during which a proposed rule is published and others may object before it takes effect.

On this arkSomebody objected.

Delegated act

A rule written later by the Commission to fill in the details a law left open.

On this arkOne is pending on the meaning of the word "imminent".

Impact assessment

A study of what a proposed rule would cost and achieve, produced before the rule is written.

On this arkAn impact assessment of the impact assessment has been requested.

Fitness check

A review of whether existing rules are still doing their job, usually run under a programme to simplify them.

On this arkOngoing. It has so far taken longer than writing the rules did.

Transposition

The step where each country writes an EU directive into its own national law. Directives set the goal; countries choose the wording. It routinely runs late.

On this arkTwenty-seven versions of the Ark Directive are outstanding.

Omnibus

A single act that amends many existing laws at once. The EU's Digital Omnibus of 2026 changed several digital rules together, including the AI Act.

On this arkIt is the reason every deferral here is exactly sixteen months.

Recess

The August break, during which the institutions do not meet.

On this arkThe original departure date fell inside it.